False beliefs in the workplace
The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
Ever since moving to Berlin for work, I’ve noticed a big change in the introspection and reflection I do.
Maybe because the endless sunny days in Spain having beers on terraces have transformed into long grey autumns and winters, where there’s not much to do but read and think about your life.
I came across the concept of false belief during one of my earliest therapy sessions (Yes, I’m being treated and medicated for an Anxiety Disorder) #Postyourpill 💪. And lately I’ve been thinking about some of these beliefs, because I just can’t seem to shake them.
I‘d like to share the beliefs that affect me most in the workplace, to record my ideas and reasoning in the hope they’ll resonate with someone out there.
#1 Work and fun don’t mix
My mum has always been a hard worker who struggles with the idea of having fun for the sake of it. Her way of thinking is basically, “Work, work, work, and when work’s done, then you can have fun”. The classic, “Once your homework’s done you can watch TV”. Although I didn’t realise how big of a trap this is, because work will NEVER be finished. And fun will never be a priority.
I have a colleague at work that genuinely has fun when he’s working. It’s never about the outcome but more about the journey, which definitely makes me a little jealous. Why can’t I be like that?
I’ve always been tagged as a serious person when I’m “on duty”. I have to keep telling myself the next task I pick up I’ll focus on enjoying the process. But then my instincts kick in, I go into “deliver” mode and bam! back in the trap again.
What I’m doing to challenge this belief: I haven’t found the sweet spot yet, but I’m working on it. One idea is that at the beginning of my next project (which by the way is Onboarding and offboarding) I’ll warn my colleagues in advance of this whole deal. Maybe then, when I get into my old patterns, they can remind me to hold my horses.
#2 I’m paid to deliver, not to chat
The second concept is quite similar to the one above, in the sense that officially my employer is paying me to deliver quality work. To produce, to deliver. Not to chat by the water-cooler.
However, since I took up this opportunity as DesignOps Lead, I’ve realised how wrong this is. I actually think the reason why I’m not being as successful as I could be is because I haven’t taken the time to get to know the people that I’m working with on a deeper level. There’s no trust built yet, no rapport, there are no jokes, no fun. It’s purely transactional.
What I’m doing to challenge this belief: From next week on, I’m stopping my operational tasks for a bit to do an informal Listening Tour with every member of the UX Team and then expand beyond our circle.
#3 “I’m so so grateful for this opportunity, boss!”
At the end of the day, I’m an immigrant. A Spanish immigrant too, with all the connotations associated with that. And of course, we’re so much worse at everything than the Germans. At least that’s what I heard for a large part of my life (thanks, Dad).
So when someone from awesome Germany reaches out to you with a job opportunity you feel like you owe them your life. You don’t ask for more, you’re just content with the fact that they found you, and chose you to be “one of them”.
I remember when I started at MyToys.de as a Product Designer. On my first day someone asked for my opinion. I looked right and left then right again, making 100% sure they were talking to me. What do you mean you want my point of view? I have a voice?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to have a job, and very grateful for all the opportunities my managers and employers have given me, but there’s no more extreme thanking or begging. I bring a lot to the table every day I show up for work. I take, but I also give.
What I’m doing to challenge this belief: This is a slow process of believing that you are enough as you are. Of realising that this idea that someone from another country being superior to you is a consequence of (right-wing) media exposure.
I started with the small things. First, you raise your hand in a meeting and express a concern. See what happens. Nothing happens. They didn’t fire you, did they? Then a bigger ask, then a bigger one. Rinse and repeat until you feel 100% comfortable with having a voice.
#4 Saying NO might get you fired
For those of you who’ve been sacked, you know how hard a kick in the ego it is. I got fired after about 3 years working for Grupo Cortefiel. At the time, I was already tired of the way things were going, and became more and more vocal about lots of issues. I started to say “No. Not like that”.
This led to colleagues thinking I’d grown a pair (of ovaries), and to stakeholders thinking I was a pain in their asses. I was extremely fed up. So, the moment that they had the chance they fired me. I remember it was a Friday at 8am when I got the call from HR.
Looking back, it was probably the best thing that happened to me. My time there had already finished and we definitely had a different set of values.
What I’m doing to challenge this belief: I’m thinking a lot more about where I draw the line. Can I still voice my opinions in a less emotional way? Since discovering “I disagree and commit” I feel like a new person. I wish I had that in my vocabulary back then.
When I started writing this article the sky was pretty grey. But now the sun is shining bright. Maybe it’s time to go out and have those beers I mentioned at the start, and make the most of the day like I would in Spain.
